Jon22 » contract goblins

Jon22 » contract goblins:

I immediately inquired about upgrading to an iPhone, but the kind and helpful sales clerk explained that since I had only been an AT&T customer for seven years and I had purchased this particular RAZR just eleven months ago, I wasn’t due for an upgrade. As such, AT&T would do the reasonable thing and tack a $200 markup onto the price of the iPhone. Why? Because the contract goblins at at&t have to rape angels in order to feel, that’s why.

The clerk went on to tell me that the best he’d be able to do is process me as an “exceptional upgrade,” which would grant me access to a bizarre sort of semi-rebate on certain phones. Not the full rebate price, the one they print in big letters, but one of the numbers listed lower down on the display tag. One of the more depressing numbers.

Dirty bunch of angel rapers.